Beliefs, and their role in the creative process.

 I'm learning a new skill. This is what I'm doing. I'm looking at learning how to write articles, non fiction books, and fiction. Plus essays. And it requires understanding the process of doing all of these.

There is structure to writing any of them, and I want to get a fairly good idea of what that structure is before I even start. So if I do seem to be procrastinating, then that's why. I could take a stab at any of these projects and fail miserably because I didn't really know what I was doing, but the truth is that if I get a better idea of how to make it all happen, it increases my chances of making a better first attempt, and then will install the courage to do better with subsequent attempts.

It's rather like learning to drive a truck. I could have taken a truck out on day one and learned through trial and error how to drive the thing. But it might well have led to complete failure after one accident. Same with flying. I have to learn the basic principles before even attempting to fly, then I need to take it easy and not attempt, for example, so much as a landing before I get a decent grasp of the principles.

What I'm currently doing in my life is explore the belief systems I have in my own life. The negative belief systems - that I'm a failure, useless, an idiot, talentless, etc. - are all things that have held me back from even attempting to write professionally, or act, or perform much at all. I have been exploring my self hatred, and facing it, understanding the illusion of it that holds me back.

Some of the above didn't make sense. It was unclear. But I'll let it be for now.

I was reading an article in The New York Times about Princess Diana's visit to New York City, and her visit to a homeless shelter for black people on The East Side. A woman was presented to her, who shook her hand and described how her knees shook as she did so, because she was so in awe of actually shaking hands with this important white woman.

But it revealed something quite important. The woman's belief systems were being shaken by the new reality that she was encountering. It was a moment when she was finding out that the reality she expected from her life wasn't the one that was happening, and so as her mind took the new understanding of reality on board, it changed her whole dynamic and magnetism. I had a similar encounter with Diana. 

And it's about belief systems, and their illusion. Truth is, the woman was exactly the same person as she was before meeting Diana. But her belief system had changed, that's all. Diana's reality had impinged on hers, and it "changed" her. And this is precisely what belief does. Belief, for good or bad, changes a person. Or at least it doesn't so much "change" them as "rearrange their energy pattern". 

When you are armed by a different belief system, you can do different things. You can face fears, or pain, or create entirely different realities. You feel the changes in your body, since your body contains the energy system of your own reality. But it is so. I think if Jesus existed and was special, it's because he understood this phenomenon.

The woman's knees went weak, because she felt her own weakness in the presence of a woman who felt her own strength. Most people don't really encounter such confidence in their lives. But it's just an illusion. It's just the pattern of energy in a fellow human being. It's all about energy patterns, just as the patterns of chess make it a winning or a losing game. A game of chess is just a pattern of energy and thought, manifested as a game through moves on a board, real or virtual.

And the new skills I'm learning - that are leading to the reality that I'm a decent and consistently improving writer, and can write articles, essays, short stories, non fiction books, and novels -  are changing me as a thinker and a creative.

What I like about writing is that a writer has so much more control over creative content than an actor. An actor can only do so much with the words he's given, and if the words create a character that's just not very intelligent, or two dimensional, or just bad, then the actor is just stuck with that. The writer, however, has so much more at his disposal. I can write, for example, an excellent novel. And I can write, for example, a fantastic letter that supports my desire to get it published. I can, as a writer, sell not just my own product, but anyone else's. If, of course, I know what I'm doing. But the truth is that a writer can create "code" that opens all manner of doors to reality of all different kinds. The fact that I can go back over this very paragraph and change it, improving the adjectives and verbs and adverbs to make it more exciting, captivating and intelligent sounding, and therefore draw in a larger or enthusiastic audience, is quite magical. 

The word is, indeed, a magical thing. It creates reality. As do beliefs.