Posts

Bums on seat to get it all done.

 My successful best selling author friend is telling me that the way to make it as a writer is to put your bum on the seat and just do it. And I know she's right. And I know there will come a point (hopefully soon) when I just do that. Because it will mean stuff will come up in the way of resistance. Lots of believe system shit will come to the surface, as the parts of me that can't believe I can write anything, let alone anything good, will be trying really hard to stop me from carrying on. And that will mean I'll try to distract myself with all manner of things, including doing other things. But I know in my heart of hearts that what I need to do is simply embrace the challenge, and work through the pain and discomfort, and turn it all into a challenge. And that really is what it's all about: the challenge. I have to prioritize this work, and make sure I do X number of hours EVERY SINGLE DAY without fail, understanding that excuses are just excuses. That it's a mu
Post a Comment
Read more

Corfu you

 23 years and I think about you ever day would have died for you nearly killed for you hated myself and everyone else because of  what they did to you Flipped a coin to speak or stay silent you don't know the half of it, though All my life it's been taking care of broken women, broken hearted girls the biggest was the one who I saw in the sea one Greek afternoon in Corfu a child woman of 22 who  I didn't think too much of then who wasn't the one I'd given my heart to when Now what? Can I sing this shit out of me?  I don't think so.
Post a Comment
Read more

Trophy wife

 I dated a woman one time Who told me about her old man who had a red E Type which he never drove except for once a year around the plaza for the car show day And she said she felt like that car. Just there for show and never really driven at all or taken anywhere nice It was his trophy And she was his trophy wife. And I have a red guitar A Gibson 335  and it sits in a case and never gets seen or played and it's a fucking disgrace and I hang my head in shame Because I'm wasting all my life wanting the same trophy wife Funny how we won't  just let ourselves be who we are and we try to be someone else  but it just doesn't work and you end up just a jerk
Post a Comment
Read more

Identifying what a good book or story is, and reverse engineering it.

 So I've been thinking about what it means to be a writer, and what I'll write, and what I'll most likely be any good at, assuming I get on with this thing. "Write about what you know" is, as they say, what it's all about. So what do I know? Well, I know about rage, and rape, and aspects of psychology that lots of people don't look at. I know about fear, and terror, and sex, and love, and travel, and desperation, and daring. I know about courage, and hurt, and loss, and then there are my thoughts about free will, etc. I have opinions about crime and punishment, which are in conflict with each other. Understand about internal conflict, about betrayal, and about self deception and passion. I have thoughts about magic, about the occult, about science, about time, about paradox, etc. I was thinking today about what makes a good story. What, for example, do I like about the story of Beth Harmon in "The Queen's Gambit"? Well, I like that she's
Post a Comment
Read more

Beliefs, and their role in the creative process.

 I'm learning a new skill. This is what I'm doing. I'm looking at learning how to write articles, non fiction books, and fiction. Plus essays. And it requires understanding the process of doing all of these. There is structure to writing any of them, and I want to get a fairly good idea of what that structure is before I even start. So if I do seem to be procrastinating, then that's why. I could take a stab at any of these projects and fail miserably because I didn't really know what I was doing, but the truth is that if I get a better idea of how to make it all happen, it increases my chances of making a better first attempt, and then will install the courage to do better with subsequent attempts. It's rather like learning to drive a truck. I could have taken a truck out on day one and learned through trial and error how to drive the thing. But it might well have led to complete failure after one accident. Same with flying. I have to learn the basic principles
Post a Comment
Read more

A backup career, and planning the piece

 Well I'm feeling more inspired to write now. Just writing about writing helps, I suppose. But I have so many books to read now. So much to do! It's crazy. I'm looking at all the backup jobs I can fall back on to if the writing doesn't work out. Its interesting to see how scared I've always been of trusting the process. But the thing I'm getting to understand is that I can only be me. I couldn't have been or done anything other then be me or do what I've done. Perhaps this is what wisdom turns out to be. I remember thinking that Tommy Lee Jones graduated in law before he became an actor. And I think that's so with many actors. They may not have money or connections, but they have the confidence in other ways. They know they can fall back on a secondary career. So I've been listing all the other things I can do to make ends meet if investments fall by the wayside, or the book doesn't sell, or I don't make a great living as a writer. But th
Post a Comment
Read more

Characters, places, etc

 I just wrote a list of 100 people I've known, that I could write something about. It's interesting, because I realize I've known quite a selection of people at least fairly well. I'm not publishing my list, because I want to keep it private, but it's interesting to remember aspects of what I know about them and my relationships to them. I remembered, as I was writing, some of the things about them, even people I didn't get to know all that well. I got quite an outline of their lives. I've known murderers, rape victims, abuse victims, suicides, people who have had very difficult lives. The partners of people who've lost their kids through illness and suicide. There are some hurt people out there, and it got me thinking that my own list of difficulties hasn't been that bad in comparison with some. I've had some difficulties and tragedies in my life, I suppose I could say. But it is interesting to see how others lives have fared. I think I'll w
Post a Comment
Read more